Reminders

The gentle, yet subtle reminders.


They are all around me.

From the car at the 4-way stop to the lady at the store with her kids.

It is unavoidable.

All of these events stir up feelings from my past. I feel as though these events and occurrences are real, yet they are just a reminder of what I remember life to be.

I am here now creating a new today with new memories not those of my past.

Yet, I still feel the ties to the old. These memories do not cease to be. They are fresh in my mind and draw me back yearning to be made new again.

It is a struggle between past and present and what I yearn to be.

Where do I find the balance? Where do I need to be? How do I move forward and find peace?

Where do I belong?

Now what?

Well, here we are in our new residence in the state of Ohio. A week ago today we moved in and have been busting our butts all week, but we are all unpacked. All that's left is putting pictures up on the walls. Hopefully that will make it feel more like home. Because even though it's where we live, it's just a house. A beautiful one at that, but just a house that's waiting for us to fill it with memories. We've filled it with the loads of stuff we have, but it still feels empty to me. I am sure it doesn't help that this the first moment I have had alone, all to myself. Jason is at work, the 2 younger boys are napping (as is the dog), and Taylor is on his way back home to stay and visit with the grandparents. This is when the sadness hits. The loneliness is felt in my heart. I miss the connections I had back at home with my family and friends. I miss the comfort and security of my home. I try to stay strong and be positive, but deep down I miss home. I know I need to give it time and I will adjust. Right now it's just kinda hard for me. I could use all the encouraging comments you might have.