Wine and multi-tasking do not mix (very well).

Or this could alternately be titled, "Lynette doesn't know how to use a phone."

Let me set the stage for you.

Last night, I got the kids to bed, came downstairs, poured  myself another glass of wine, and sat down to watch American Idol via Tivo.  I can't stand to watch it live and not be able to fast forward over Paula's babbling non-sense.  

I got through Allison's performance and felt a little let down.  I love that girls voice, but I wasn't feeling her with that song choice.  Plus her choice of clothing didn't do her any favors.  

Next up was Anoop - dawg.  He has been hit and miss these past few weeks so I was curious to see how he would perform this evening.  And let me just say I was blown away.  He sealed the deal for me and prompted me (for the first time this season) to pick up the phone and vote.  And I was only 2 contestants in. 

So here I am dialing with the phone in one hand and holding my wine in the other hand while watching the other Idols do their thing and attempting to fast forward over Paula and the commercials.  At one point I was so caught up with the multi-tasking going on that I pushed redial on the phone and put the wine glass up to my ear instead of the phone.  Luckily I caught myself before I caused a mess.  But I had to laugh.  

That reminds me of the time when I was back in high school.  I was in a deep sleep when the phone rang.  I didn't have my contacts in and couldn't find my glasses in time to reach for the phone.  I ended up picking up the TV remote control and talking into it thinking it was the phone.  Duh!     

Wrong lyrics

There have been times when I am listening to a song and I start to sing along, but realize I may have the lyrics wrong.  

Has this ever happened to you?  

Sometimes, it's obvious such as the song "Higher Love" by Steve Winwood.  When I was younger I always thought that he was singing, "Bring me a pie of love," instead of what he was actually singing, "Bring me a higher love."  I am not joking as embarrassing as it may be.  

Or how about this one.  "Too Legit to Quit" by MC Hammer, which I thought he was singing, "do the jerk, do the jerk at work."  Cut me some slack, I was young.

Other times the lyrics that I hear and what's actually being sung aren't as obvious.  Which brings me to my latest mistake.  

I was watching American Idol and first can I just say someone needs to throw some hot wax on the caterpillars that are overtaking Paula's forehead?  Did I miss the memo that thick eyebrows are the new fashion?  No thank you. 

Sorry I got sidetracked.

During the show (or maybe it was at the end) they show a clip of the next weeks contestants who are dancing around like kids on a sugar high.  The song they are dancing to is "When I Grow Up" by the Pussycat Dolls.  I've heard this song before on the radio, but I was a bit shocked that Idol would use it to promote the singers, especially the guys.  

You might be scratching your head right about now.  Let me explain.

Here is what I seriously thought the lyrics of the chorus were:

When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies
When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars

I wanna have boobies

Yep, I thought the Pussycat Dolls wanted to grow up and have boobies.  Isn't that every girls dream?  So you could understand that it was a bit odd for me to see a guy dancing to that part of the song (well, most of the guys).  I come to find out that I had the lyrics wrong, surprise, surprise!  

They actually sing, "I wanna have groupies."  Ah-ha.  That makes more sense.  It's still a stupid song, but at least now I won't be going around singing about ta-ta's.