Got milk?

I had an interesting conversation with Luke today about milk while having lunch at Arbys.

"Mom, where does milk come from?" asked Luke.

I responded, "From cows of course."

"No, but how do they get it out, do they pee it out?" asked Luke.

"Uh - no, that would be gross. It comes out of their udders." I said confidently.

Luke, with a confused look on his face, continued by asking, "Well, what are udders?"

At this point I wasn't sure how I was going to explain them, so non-chalantly I said, "udders are kind of like boobs." (You tell me how you'd explain them any better!)

Luke looked at me with grin on his face and said, "Yeah, cows have Moobs!"

For the record.

Here is another dose of my children's comments that I have to post for the record. These make me laugh and I hope they do the same for you.

Enjoy.

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Carson and I were sitting at the table one day coloring together. Out of the blue he says, "Mom, don't tell anyone, but there's this girl in my class who's absolutely hot." I about fell off my chair hearing that from my 6 year old, but I maintained my composure and tried not to make a big deal about it.

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When my husband was a kid he fell down a slide and got a gash in his forehead, which has left a scar. 4 year old Luke was sitting on dad's lap examining dad's face and says, "Daddy, I can see the crack in your forehead."

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I had worked out earlier during the day and had not yet changed out of my workout clothes which consisted of a sleeveless vest with a tank top underneath. Carson was picking out some clothes to wear and pulled out a t-shirt along with a basketball jersey. I was standing nearby watching what he was doing. Carson said he needed to wear the t-shirt under the jersey so he wouldn't look like a hillbilly. I looked at my vest and asked him if he thought I looked like a hillbilly and he adamantly replied, "Well, Yeah!"

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I went to check on Luke early in the morning and noticed his door was completely shut, which it's normally only half open. So I slowly and quietly opened the door and saw Luke in his bed with the sheets pulled up to where only his eyes were peeking out and they were wide open. I walked over to him to see if he was ok and noticed the smell of chocolate. I asked what he was eating and he replied, "cheese." I then pulled back the covers and see that he helped himself to a chocolate chip cookie and snuck it back into bed with him.

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While decorating our Christmas tree Luke pulled out a Noah's Ark ornament and excitedly said, "Look - it's Oah's Nark!"

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Taylor wasn't able to locate his iphone so I told him to check with Luke who likes to sneak off and play with it. Taylor went to Luke's room, looked under his bed, and sure enough it was there. I asked Luke why Taylor found his iphone under his bed and he replied, "I don't know, it magically appeared there."

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Carson has a habit of eating his food really fast. The other night I made a ham for dinner and as usual Carson started shoveling his food in. Without thinking of what I was saying, I told him to stop being like a pig when you eat your ham. How cheesy is that?!

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You can tell our boys have a Wii game system. The other day they were at the gym in the play room and were playing a baseball game on an old Playstation 2. They kept swinging the remote even though it wasn't necessary. My boys are programmed in Wii-mode and there's no reversing that!

These boys are something else!

Here is another installment of my on going series of kid sayings that my 3 boys supply me with. The majority of today's excerpts come from Luke who recently turned 4 years old. It's a great dose of humor that makes me smile. I hope it does the same for you.

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I asked Luke what he wanted for lunch and he said, "The crab macaroni." Not sure what he meant I asked him to explain it. He said, "the sea shell kind." Oh- you mean the Kraft Shells and Cheese? Yep.

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Luke and I were petting Fritz, my parent's dog during one of his rare quiet and calm moments. Luke laid his head on the dog's chest and said, "His heart is wiggling, no, it's bumping."

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While walking to the gym in the parking lot Carson spotted a cloth on the ground. He pointed at it and said, "Look someones hank chief."

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Luke was eating a popsicle and I look over at him and see him giving it kisses. He noticed me watching him and said, "Mom, this is Princess Leia."

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Luke being under 4 feet tall was standing between my dad and I as we were having a conversation. Luke interrupts us and bluntly states, "Papa, you have boogers in your nose."

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I had a hard work out at the gym and at home I was sitting at the table with my eyes closed. I told Luke that all I wanted to do was go to bed. Luke replied, "Well, walk upstairs! Are you old?"

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I yelled to Luke in the other room and asked him if he had his flip flops on. He replied, "No, I just have my feet on."

You know what they say about kids

They sure say the darndest things.  Here we go again with another installment from my boys.

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While in the car Luke announced that he doesn't like O's.  I asked what's wrong with the letter O?  And he responded, "Because they're too O-ey."

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Luke and I were outside and a guy runs past us with his shirt off.  Luke saw him and right as he was within 12 feet of us he said, "That guy's strong!"

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While driving in the van on a beautiful day I had the windows down.  We drove past a garden center where there was a large fresh pile of strong pungent smelling mulch.  As the smell entered our van Luke said, "Pee-u.  What's that smell?"  I told him it was the mulch.  Then he asked, "Does mulch fart?"

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During the summer months at the church we go to we bring Taylor and Carson with us while Luke goes to his pre-school class.  During Carson's first "adult" church experience he was very curious and was looking around.  The offering plate was being passed and after it came to us Carson said, "I thought they were passing around pie."

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During the same church service and after sitting and listening to the pastor speak for a half hour, Carson leaned over to me and asked, "Mom, is that guy getting tired yet?"

Back to what I do best.

Or should I say what my boys do best - make me laugh.  And I hope they do the same for you.

And on a side note, I did not win the Tweet contest.  Boo!  But I must say the winner had a very cute entry.  Thanks so much to those of you who voted for me.  You're the best!  

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It was bedtime and I had not yet taken a shower from my workout at the gym earlier that evening.  Needless to say I was stank-ey.  I went in to Luke's room to tuck him in and sat on the side of his bed.  He pulled the covers up to his nose and made a yucky face.  I told him I was sorry that I was stinky.  And he replied, "Just run from your stink.  It'll go away."

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Carson was sitting at the table playing with skateboard people and I walked over to him.  He stopped playing and said, "Look at how big my toes are.  Does that mean I'm getting bigger?"

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I asked Carson what him and Luke were playing.  He said, "We're looking for bad guys."  So I asked, "What are you, the F.B.I?"  Carson looked at me with a funny face and asked, "What is that?  America's Funniest Videos?"

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Carson was making projects at the kitchen table and asked me, "Mom, can you give me two slices of tape?"

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I overheard a conversation between Carson and Taylor:

Carson: "Did you know this granola bar has 80 calories in it?"

Taylor: "Why should you care?  Eat it anyway."

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Luke and I were at the store and we came to the eggs section.  I asked Luke to help me pick a carton.  He pointed at the brown eggs and said, "How about those chocolate eggs?"

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Luke's word for dandelions is "dandy-lands"

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Carson had a serious look on his face so I asked him if he was feeling okay.  He responded, "I'm just concentrating."

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I took Luke to his 4 year check up.  In the past he has been  great at doctor office visits, but for some reason he decided to freak out and cry the entire time.  After the appointment when we were walking back to the car (and he was still upset) he said, "I don't want to be 4 anymore."

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I asked Luke what kind of present we should get his pre-school teacher for the last day of school.  He replied, "a new vacuum."

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After church I asked Luke what he had learned.  He replied, "Jesus died on the cross for our cousins." I think he meant sins. 

I'm a Finalist!

I entered a contest called "Mom's Tweet the Darndest Things" where I submitted short excerpts from things the boys have said in the past that are just too funny.  Well out of the hundreds of entries, one of mine made the top ten!  This is so exciting! 

Now is the time to vote at http://bit.ly/rvdHv and choose this one:  At grocery store with 3 year old son when we passed a guy with a patch over his eye. Son replied, "Mom I just saw a pirate.”

This was from when Taylor was around 3 years old.  My mom took him to Wal-Mart and they passed a guy in the aisle who had a patch over his eye.  Taylor had a look of shock on his face and said to Maga, "I just saw a pirate!"  

Voting is open now and closes at 5pm on Saturday, May 9th with the winner announced the next day on Mother's Day.  How appropriate!  

So go on over and vote and leave me a comment letting me know you voted!  And please spread the word.  Thanks so much!

The perfect contest.

I recently re-joined Twitter.  I thought I'd give it another chance and actually try to use it this time around.  

I found this site via 5 Minutes for Mom and decided to join in the fun.  It's called Plumkeeper and they are having a "Moms Tweet the Darndest Things About Their Kids" Twitter contest.  Basically you submit tweets about things your kids say or do that are funny.  

Yeah, this is perfect for me and my boys.  So I spent some time during the day digging up some of my favorites from the years past and posted them.  It would be really cool if one of them made it to the finals.  We'll find out on May 2nd when they choose the top 5.  

If you are on Twitter you should join in on the fun.  There are some good stories on there so far.

I added one that had just happened as I was folding laundry.  Sometimes I play a laundry game with Luke where I will pull out a piece of clothing and ask him random questions about the item such as who it belongs to, what color it is, etc.  Well, I pulled out a pair of thong underwear and asked him what he thought it was.  His response, "broken underwear."  

 

Humor from the boys

For anyone new to my blog, I have a reoccurring series that I call "kid sayings."  My three boys provide me with many examples of their humorous view of every day events.  Here are some more for you to enjoy.

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Carson asked me if all his remaining teeth were to fall out would he have to get fake vampire teeth.

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While the boys (Carson and Luke) were playing in the other room I overheard  Carson say, "Luke, call me Master!"

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Luke and I were playing with and petting our dog, Sasha.  Luke asked, "Mom, does Sasha have armpits and can I tickle them?"

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I was helping Carson with his kindergarten homework and the topic was tornado drills.  I asked him where we would go if there was a tornado or bad weather.  His response in all seriousness was, "Florida."

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There is a boy in our neighborhood whose name is Christian, but the way Luke says it is, "Rishkin."

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Out of the blue Luke asks me, "Mom, do I have a cute neck?"

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While driving in the van we saw two large deer cross the road in front of us.  Luke noticed them and asked if we could stop and pet the deer.  I told him no because they might bite us or smack us with their legs (hey, I've seen it before on AFV!).  Then Luke asked, "Will they poop on me?"

Watch your mouth!

Carson wanted to make a video so I thought, what the heck.  (Excuse the awful music in the background - not my choice.)

At the very end I swear (no pun intended) it sounded like he was saying a very naughty "f-er" word which is why I reacted the way I did, but in reality he was saying, "I'm a fat guy, I'm a fat guy, I'm a fat guy."  Not that saying that particular phrase is appropriate either, but at least it wasn't what I thought it was.  

Ugh!

It's bad enough that the other day he came home and told me a boy on his bus (kindergarten, mind you) taught him a new word, b with an itch.  Not cool.  Kids these days!  I had a nice long talk with Carson about the use of particular words.  Let's hope his vocabulary doesn't get any more colorful than the actual colors of the rainbow.    

Handing it over to the kids

Today's post is another installment of kid sayings by my three boys.  If you're new to my blog and have come to visit from the Ultimate Blog Party I welcome you.  I invite you to stick around and check out some of my other posts.  You will find that I mostly blog about things I find humorous and a lot of it comes from my boys, but other times I will be the butt of the joke as well.  

If you like these "kid sayings" and want to read more click on the link at the end of this post cleverly titled "kid saying" and read to your hearts content.  

Thanks for stopping by!

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While tucking Carson (6 years old) in bed and reading him a story I noticed him feeling his armpits.  I asked what he was doing and he, in turn, asked if there was any hair under there.  I told him that he didn't have any yet, but when gets older he will get some.  He continued and said, "Then I will be a man, but it feels like there is glitter in there." 

(His new nickname is glitterpits)

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Carson pulled out his folder from school and took out a piece of gum that he had gotten as a prize.  After he walked away I noticed Luke (3 years old) over at the folder.  He took something out, put it in his mouth, chewed it a few times, then spit it out.  He said, "This doesn't taste very good."  I wondered what kind of candy he could have tried that didn't taste good.  So I look down at it a little closer and notice that he was eating a star shaped eraser.

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Our dishwasher completely leaked all over our kitchen floor.  Carson came in and asked what had happened.  I told him our dishwasher just broke and I don't really know why.  He responded by saying, "Maybe if you call the mechanic, he can help you.  For real!"

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The family and I were sitting at the kitchen table having breakfast.  I was reading an article in the newspaper about the name change of the Sears tower in Chicago.  Being that I am from the Chicago-land area I was outraged and voiced my offense out loud by saying, "They can't do that!"  Luke looked at me not having a clue what I was talking about, but responded by saying, "I didn't do it."

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Carson asked if I would get his "Dave & Busters" motorcycle out of the garage so he could ride it.  I was very puzzled at his description and asked what a Dave & Buster motorcycle was and why he called it that.  He pointed to the motorcycle in question.  "Oh," I said, "You mean the Harley Davidson motorcycle?"  He nodded his head in agreement while smiling and blushing at his mix up.

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Here are a few "Luke" words he uses:

• black owls = black olives
• statues = pistachios
• pack pack = backpack

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No matter where I am in the house, if the kids need me they yell for me - loud.  Just the other day I was getting sick of the requests and questions and just wanted to sit down for a few minutes without any interruptions (heaven forbid!).  And at that moment Taylor (11 years old) calls my name from the other room.  I didn't answer initially thinking if I stay quite he'll think I left.  But that didn't work and after 6 more "Mom"s" I had to respond.  So I yelled back, "Mom's not here anymore."  Taylor yells back (the clever little stinker), "Well tell her I'm leaving a message."

Ugh!  

Conversations from the swing set

That title is kind of catchy, don't you think?  

But that is exactly what I witnessed yesterday as my two younger boys were outside enjoying the unseasonable weather just swinging away and carrying on their conversation.  From inside the house I couldn't make out exactly what they were saying, but I would pick up on a few words and phrases here and there.  I would hear things from light sabers and elephants to baseball and skateboarding.  All the typical little boy talk that brothers share.  

It was so enjoyable to sit back and observe how precious these two sons of mine were enjoying each other's company and how fun it is to be a kid without a care in the world.  Why can't we all be more like that?  

The boys noticed me standing in the doorway watching them.  Carson yelled to me, "Mommy - guess what?  I love Chinese people!"

Uh - okay, great!  

Where in the world did that come from?  I'm all for loving, accepting, and appreciating other cultures and nationalities, but to hear that come out of my 6 year olds' mouth at that particular moment made me a bit speechless.  

And all of this occurred on St. Patrick's Day.  Had he said Irish people I may have understood where that was coming from a little better, but Chinese?  What?

More kid stories

Kid stories - aren't they the best?  Their innocent remarks and questions make me smile.  That is why I have to document them and save them so I can always remember how sweet they were as kids.  I will be re-reading these stories many times throughout their teenage years to remind myself of the smiles and joy they brought to me before the hormones came around.

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I made Carson a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch and sat down to join him.  As he was eating he was looking at the sandwich and I could tell there was some pondering going on in his little head.  He looks up at me and and asks, "Do you know where peanut butter comes from?"  And before I could answer he responds, "from peanuts."

"Yes, Carson very good." I say.

"And the jelly comes from jelly beans." he continued.

"No, guess again." I reply.

"Jelly fish?" he questioned.  "No, it comes from grapes.  Now what about the bread, where does that come from Carson?"

"Trees."

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Luke has started this new thing with me.  Whenever I drop him off at school or the child care at the gym he will wave at me and give me a wink with his eye.  Lately, he's also been doing it at home.  So in response I have been doing it back to him, but when I wink I always do it with my right eye, habit I guess.  This apparently isn't the way to do it because he gets frustrated with me and says, "No mom - the other eye."  

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I am usually pretty good at giving the kids time updates for when we have to do something.  For example, I will tell them they have 5 more minutes until it's time to clean up for dinner.  Carson is starting to understand the concept of time, but not always.  I have found him asking me if that means there is a lot of time left.  

The other day I said to the boys that we will be leaving for the gym in one hour.  (I don't know why I felt like I had to give that far in advance of a reminder, but any-hoo...)  Carson asked, "Is that a long time?"  And in response I put it in terms that a 6 year old could relate to.  I said one hour is as long as it would take you to watch 2 Spongebob episodes.  He understood.

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I started the boys bath and went downstairs to finish up some laundry.  I told the kids to get in the bath and I would be right up.  They listened alright, but when I came back up to see what all the laughing was about I see them in the bath with their swim trunks on.  Carson looked at me and asked, "Are you going to blog about this?"

Only Carson

While in the van Carson looked down at his hands and asked me why there were cracks on them.

I told him because they probably were dry.

He told me he thought his hands looked old. 

I responded by saying he just needed to put on some hand lotion and that would help them feel and look better.

He responded, "Does grandma use lotion?"

(Sorry Mom!)

Kids Sayings - I've lost count.

I have done so many posts about the funny things my kids say that I have lost count.  So without further ado, I bring you the next installment.  Enjoy.

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It was one of the first warmer days after the snow melted a week ago and I took Luke outside to ride his scooter.  He took a deep breath and said in a very excited voice, "Mom, do you smell the world?"

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After a few 50 degree days last week all the snow melted.  Then a few days later it started to snow again.  We drove past a pond and I pointed to some geese that were in the water.  Carson asked, "Are they skating?"

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The other day we were driving in the van (keep in mind that the month is February).  Carson asked if I would turn on the Christmas music.  I told him that I didn't have any.  He replied, "Yes you do, just push that snowflake button."  He was referring to the air conditioning button that he thought would play Christmas music if you push it.  LOL!  Now I don't feel so silly about what I thought that button was for back when we first got the van. 

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We have one of those GPS navigational guides and sometimes it's hard to understand the words that it says.  It will slur and combine words when there should be enunciation.  We were on the interstate and the GPS announced for us to "take ramp ahead."  Luke started cracking up and we couldn't understand what was so funny.  GPS lady said it again and Luke laughed even harder and said, "take Grandpa head."  We realized that "take ramp ahead" sounded just like it was saying "take Grandpa head."  

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Luke had a few guitar picks in his hands and came up to show me.  He said, "Look Mom!  I've got pickers!" 

Luke language:

prayers = purrs

piano = pwano

envelope = enemote

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I am currently doing a bible study by Beth Moore called Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman.  I taped a copy of the schedule by the rest of our schedules which includes the kids school calendars and my gym work-out class schedule.  Taylor was looking at it one day and started laughing.  I asked him what was so funny and he thought it was funny that my workout classes at the gym were given funny titles.  Little did he know, he was reading my bible study outline.  Here are some of the titles:

• A Royal Mess
• A Contest for a Queen
• A Raging Passion for Honor
• If You Remain Silent
• What Goes Around
• Where is the Man? 
• The Right to be Ready

I guess I can see how it could be confused for aerobic classes.  I especially thought the "Where is the Man?" was a funny one because it's sort of true.  Not many men take cardio classes.  

Uncovered treasures

My spring cleaning kick is still going on.  A few days ago I cleaned the dining room and office carpet, which helped a little, but the carpet is still drab.  I would love to finish these rooms with hardwood - ah, a girl can dream.  

The boys, I think, have also gotten a taste of this cleaning trip I'm on.  Yesterday Taylor asked me if he could switch rooms with Luke because he thought Luke's room was bigger.  In reality it is only a few inches bigger but looks larger because he has less stuff in it.  Therefore, I declined his request.  Thus, Taylor got busy deep cleaning his room, especially his walk in closet.  He had piles of stuff out in the hallway of things he no longer wanted (or at least didn't want them stored in his closet.)  

I love it when I see my boys keep their rooms clean and organized.  They sure know how to make their mom happy.  

I was sorting through the piles of closet loot and came across a binder of old projects and papers from when Taylor was in kindergarten.  I hadn't seen these in 5 years and I enjoyed looking back and comparing his work to Carson's who is in kindergarten this year.  There is a huge difference - shocking.  Taylor's work was very neat and orderly where Carson's is full of explosive color that fills every inch of the page and the writing is chaotic.  It's amazing how opposite they really are, but I think it's precious.

I came across some really cute and funny papers that I have to share.  This is back when Taylor was learning how to spell phonetically - see if you can tell what he wants to be when he grows up:

It says When I grow up I want to be a . . . . Veterinarian because I like animals, although it could be mistaken for a vegetarian because I lick animals.   

This next one cracks me up too.  These fill in the blank papers are the best.   The kids were asked to complete the sentence, "I will say NO when . . ."  Here is what Taylor put.

"when someone tells me to shut-up while I was in Summer Bible Study."  

This is a little disturbing on a few levels.  First, what kind of kid goes to church and tells other kids to shut up?  Look at their faces - the one on the right a.k.a. the "bully" is all smiling and happy and the other three have shocked expressions on their faces.  Such detail for a 5 year old.   And second, what kind of church has a purple disco ball hanging from the ceiling?  I'm not sure what else that could represent.  I just wonder what was going through the teacher's mind when she was writing this down for Taylor.  

I am so glad I found these treasures - I'll be sure to hang on to these for a long time.

More "kidioms"

My kids haven't been supplying me with the usual amount of funny blog material like they have in the past.  I guess they go in spurts.  But I do have a few to share with you today.  I hope you get a kick out of them.  They better start being more comical in order to earn their keep around here.  How else am I going to keep this blog going?

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I told Carson that I had to shovel the driveway from all the snow we got.  He looked at me in a concerned way and said, "Well don't shovel the grass.  I like it that way."

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Luke's word for bananas is 'bwhan-ahs'

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Luke got a shell from church and was very excited.  He came up to me and told me that it is his new pet and it's name 'yogurt' then he changed it to 'Dilbert'.

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After getting Luke cleaned up and changed for the day he looked at me, in which I was still in my pajamas, and said, "Now it's time for you to take a shower, get dressed and do your eyeballs."  

I am guessing he either meant for me to put in my contacts or put on my eye makeup,  either way I've never heard it phrased that way before.  Only Luke.

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Carson learned the song Do Re Mi from the movie The Sound of Music during music class at school.  He can sing it pretty well and knows the words for only being in kindergarten.  He must have been singing it pretty often because Luke has now picked up on it.  Except Luke's version is slightly different.  These are his lyrics, "Wa a deer, a Wal-Mart deer."

Friday Funnies

I've got some more funnies from my honeys - my three boys that is.  I think this is a good way to wrap up the week.  We're freezing our patooties off and any form of activity, such as laughter, is a great way to stay warm.  You're welcome.  Enjoy.

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I took Luke with me to our most recent trip to Dunkin D0nuts.  A nice African American took our order and asked Luke what kind of donut he wanted.  Pointing at the double chocolate donut he replied, "the black one."

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The temperature outside has been in the single digits and when we go outside, especially at night we can see our breath.  Luke noticed it and in a very excited voice stated, "Mom - look!  We're making clouds!"

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Carson and Luke were getting into it as usual and I looked at Carson and said, "Stop being an instigator."  Luke heard me and replied, "Yeah, stop being a gator."

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(I hope my mom (Maga) and dad (Papa) do not read this one!)

I was tucking Carson into bed and we were talking about getting older.  Carson said he was going to live to be 100 years old.  Then he asked if he would still look like he does now.  I told him no, he would not, but in fact he would look older and have wrinkled skin.  Carson replied, "Like Maga and Papa?"

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Luke came up to me and said, "Mom, I'm growing up SO big, like a dinosaur."

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While we were sitting at the dinner table Luke said, "Mom, I want a baby."  I replied by asking, 

Well, where do we get one?" curious to see what his answer would be.  He replied, "At the baby store, you know where you buy diapers."

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Have a great weekend!

More smiles and laughs

If you have kids and haven't begun documenting the things they say that make you laugh, I highly encourage you to start.  Not only is it fun to look back on and read, but a lot of the time you forget what it was or how they said that one particular thing and wish you would have written it down.  

Today I bring you a few more "kidioms" thanks to my boys.

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Luke was watching Taylor's hamsters play and he said they were playing "hide and sneak".

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Every night Luke says his prayers.  The other night he was in a thankful mood and was giving thanks for people in his life.  The last thing he added to his list of thanks with all seriousness was this; "And thank you God for farts. Amen."

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We were in the van and Jason turned on the Sirius radio to station 4 which is 1940's music.  Luke heard it and asked, "Is this Tom and Jerry?"

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I asked Luke what he wanted to be when he grew up and he replied, "A ghost.  A mad ghost."

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We were getting ready for church and Carson came down the stairs all dressed up.  He looked at me and asked, "Do I look better than you?"

These boys.

Oh boy - here we go again.  The things these kids say.  When I'm old and gray I will be so glad to have these memories to look back on and laugh.

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Luke brings me his toothbrush and blue colored toothpaste and asks me, "Hey, can you get me a little blue?"

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I went to check on Luke who I thought was taking a nap, but when I walked in his room I found him stacking his books.  I asked him what he was doing and he replied, "I'm oar-zah-nigh-ging." I had to have him repeat what he was trying to say and finally by the 6th time I figured out what he was trying to tell me.  He was "organizing."

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When Luke gets really ticked off he has a way with words.  His frustration leads him to say obscenities in the phase of "idiot, damn-head." (I don't approve of this talk what-so-ever, but sometimes hearing that come out his sweet little 3 year old mouth is too much.)

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Luke took the paper off his red crayon and Carson asked, "Is your crayon naked now?"

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We walked past a guy who was using a spreader to distribute sidewalk salt.  Carson noticed and said, "That guy's fertilizing."

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I told Carson that we had to pick up his friend after school because his mom had to work.  Luke was listening and said, "Mommy's don't work, only Daddy's do."

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I bought a "floral" arrangement which had a lot of darker colored grass in it.  Carson took one look at it and asked, "Why did you buy dead grass?"

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Carson's bus driver was handing out Starbursts to the kids for their Christmas treat.  Carson runs off the bus with excitement and announces, "Mom - I just got Starbucks!"

They keep 'em coming

I believe this is the 14th installment of my kids and the funny and unpredictable things that come out of their mouths.  Here we go.

Luke and I were watching TV and a commercial came on for Lubriderm lotion which showed a lady with dry elbows.  In response Luke says to me, "I'm buying that for you mom."

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Carson asked me if I was going to get the Christmas "ornamations" out yet.

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I commented to Taylor that my birthday is less than a month away and soon I'd be 31.  Taylor replied, "Yeah mom, 40 is right around the corner." 

(He's so getting grounded for that.)

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We got out the Christmas decorations and out of the nativity set only Mary and a sheep were all we could find.  Carson was playing with them and said, "Mom, I know who this is.  It's Mary."  I replied, "Yes, you are right."  Then Carson said, "And this is a lamb."  The next thing I hear is him singing, "Mary had a Little Lamb."

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Carson put on a football jersey and asked me what number was on it.  I told him it was 80.  And in a serious voice he asked, "Is that how old Daddy is?"

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I was talking on the phone to one of the neighbors when Luke walked up to me and took a sniff.  He loudly announced, "Mom - you farted!"

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And there you have it!