Lost in the lyrics (again)

Awhile back I posted about misunderstanding the lyrics of songs.  Since then I have realized a few things. 

 1) My hearing is not what it used to be.  Actually that's not true.  I've been hearing the wrong lyrics in songs since I was a kid and it continues to this day.

Let's try this.

2) Artists sing about strange things.  Or maybe it's just me thinking I am hearing strange things.

For instance, why would you sing about dying without chew?  I mean tobacco chew is what could actually make you die, not living without it.  PM Dawn sure has that song all wrong.  

Oh wait, what's that they're singing?  "I'd die without you."  Ah!  That makes a bit more sense.

And that other 80's song by Til Tuesday.  "Hush, hush, keep it down now, this is scary."  What is so scary that you have to keep quiet about? I heard this song on our satellite radio the other day.  The nice (and humbling) thing about satellite radio is that they display the artists name and song title on the screen.  That is when I learned the truth about this song called "Voices Carry".  So that's why she's singing about keeping her voice down.  

Should I continue on with this embarrassment?  Oh, why not!  

I have always liked Prince or is he still going by The Artist Formerly Known as Prince (insert some strange symbol)?  Either way he provided me with an opportunity to get lost in the lyrics of "Little Red Corvette."  Now I have to give myself some credit here - this song was popular when I was just a kid.  And my family was friends with another family who had a daughter named Colette.  Are you starting to follow me on this one yet?  So every time I would hear this song I always thought it was about this girl and Prince was singing, "Live it Colette." 

I'll be the first to admit it - yes, I am a dork.  And proud of it!

How about one more for old time's sake?  Then I promise I am done and will keep the rest to myself.  Deal?  

There's a trend here - 80's music.  You've got to love Mr. Mister.  My brother had one of their records, so I had my chance to listen to it over and over again which could have benefited me in getting the right lyrics down, but instead it ingrained the wrong lyrics in my head for eternity.  Remember the song Kyrie? Great song, right?  But man did I have those lyrics all wrong.  This is what they are actually singing: 

"Kýrie, eléison, down the road that I must travel

Kýrie, eléison, through the darkness of the night"

But my twisted and young mind sang it this way, "Carry a laser down the road that I must travel.  Carry a laser through the darkness of the night." 

You never know when you're going to need a laser, kind of like a flashlight.

You can stop laughing at me now.  

Do you know what the definition of 'Kyrie eleison' is?  

It's Greek for "Lord, have mercy." 

Maybe you could all show me some of that mercy right about now.          

Wrong lyrics

There have been times when I am listening to a song and I start to sing along, but realize I may have the lyrics wrong.  

Has this ever happened to you?  

Sometimes, it's obvious such as the song "Higher Love" by Steve Winwood.  When I was younger I always thought that he was singing, "Bring me a pie of love," instead of what he was actually singing, "Bring me a higher love."  I am not joking as embarrassing as it may be.  

Or how about this one.  "Too Legit to Quit" by MC Hammer, which I thought he was singing, "do the jerk, do the jerk at work."  Cut me some slack, I was young.

Other times the lyrics that I hear and what's actually being sung aren't as obvious.  Which brings me to my latest mistake.  

I was watching American Idol and first can I just say someone needs to throw some hot wax on the caterpillars that are overtaking Paula's forehead?  Did I miss the memo that thick eyebrows are the new fashion?  No thank you. 

Sorry I got sidetracked.

During the show (or maybe it was at the end) they show a clip of the next weeks contestants who are dancing around like kids on a sugar high.  The song they are dancing to is "When I Grow Up" by the Pussycat Dolls.  I've heard this song before on the radio, but I was a bit shocked that Idol would use it to promote the singers, especially the guys.  

You might be scratching your head right about now.  Let me explain.

Here is what I seriously thought the lyrics of the chorus were:

When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies
When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars

I wanna have boobies

Yep, I thought the Pussycat Dolls wanted to grow up and have boobies.  Isn't that every girls dream?  So you could understand that it was a bit odd for me to see a guy dancing to that part of the song (well, most of the guys).  I come to find out that I had the lyrics wrong, surprise, surprise!  

They actually sing, "I wanna have groupies."  Ah-ha.  That makes more sense.  It's still a stupid song, but at least now I won't be going around singing about ta-ta's.