My attempt at fashion

I'll admit that when it comes to fashion I don't consider myself to be a trendsetter.  When I shop I buy "safe" items.  What I mean is that I keep it simple and comfortable.  That's the way I like to live.  

 

On the other hand, I am all for trying out new looks, it's just that I just don't trust myself in the store.  My MIL has a great eye for fashion and I would have complete confidence with her picking out my wardrobe for the rest of my life if it came down to it.  She always seems to know what's in and cute.  And me, well, not so much.

For example, last year she gave me this adorable hat to wear during winter.  Now normally this is something I would have never picked out for myself to wear.  Initially I felt like it would make me feel silly.  But, I have seen other 'stars' pull off this look and it's cool.  But, could I pull it off with the same finesse as someone like Sarah Jessica Parker?  I have been told that I somewhat resemble her so I thought I could give it a shot.  

  

If you could have only been here to hear the comments from my boys, who, if I might add, should not be giving fashion advice to their mother unless it makes me want to hug them and not hurt them.

First, I come out to the kitchen and Luke is standing there staring at my head.  He started off sweet by saying, "Mom, I like your big hat."  But then he went on to say, "Is that a choo-choo one like Thomas?"  Now how could I get upset with a cute comment like that?  He thought I looked like a conductor.  Just call me Mrs. Topham Hat.

Then, I go out to the van where the rest of the boys are waiting for me.  Taylor just looks at me with a huge smile across his face trying so hard not to bust out laughing, but he couldn't resist.  He told me it looked "fluffy."

Carson just looked at me with an expression of who-are-you-and-what-did-you-do-with-my-real-mom look on his face?  Then he added, "Mom, you look like a zebra."  

I give up!  But I didn't give in.  "Deal with it," I told them.  "Today your mother is pulling off the  fluffy-zebra-choo-choo-hat fashion statement."

Then Jason came in the van, looked at me and said, "Nice hat."  

Smart man.

  

Bumper Stickers

I'm not a big fan of putting stickers on our vehicles unless it is something that is really important to me or really hilarious.  

The other day I saw this bumper sticker on a truck and it made me laugh.

"I love animals........They're delicious."  It was promoting a hunting group or something to that extent.  

Some other bumper stickers I have seen in the past that are worth mentioning are:

• 4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions.
• I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
• If we are what we eat then I'm cheap, fast and easy.
• Driver carries no cash, he's married.
• Careful, I'm in foreclosure.
• The difference between Outlaws and In-laws? Outlaws are wanted.
• Common sense isn't common.
• Bad spellers untie.
• I may be slow, but I'm ahead of you.
• I asked my wife if old men wear boxers or briefs? She said Depends.
• My wife always gives me sound advice. 99% sound 1% advice.
• I have no idea where I'm going.

Do you have a bumper sticker on your vehicle?  Have you had one in the past?  Or tell me what some of your favorite all time bumper stickers are.

December = cookies

One of the things that come to mind in the month of December is cookies.  

Between the tree trimming, hanging of lights, and home decorating, Christmas cookies rank high for me in celebrating the season.  

I have always looked forward to cookie exchanges and receiving and exchanging cookies from neighbors and friends in the past.  

This year things are different.  I have no cookie exchanges lined up and we have new neighbors and friends that I don't think I would expect to bring me cookies nor would I expect them to accept mine. 

Therefore, instead of being all Scrooge-like, I wanted to share a great way to host a cookie exchange (even though I won't be actually doing this).  

Make a batch of your all time favorite Christmas cookie.  Depending on the number of people attending will determine how many you need to bake.  

Create decorative bags of 3 to 6 cookies for each person in attendance and include a bag to use as a taste tester.  

In or on the bag you should include the cookie's name and recipe.

Make sure your cookies are baked the same day or day before the party to ensure they are fresh.  And if you are the host provide appetizers and drinks or ask each person to bring one to share.  

Happy Holidays and enjoy those cookies!

I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T.

Luke, my 3 year old, is a technology junkie.  

Just the other day while I was folding laundry he came to the doorway and said, "Hey mom - look at me."  I turn around and find him doing a yoga pose.  I asked him what it was called that he was doing and he replied, "It's the Wii Fit stand."  

Uh-huh.

He spends a fair amount of time playing and successfully maneuvering his way around games on his Nintendo DS as well.  And he is very good at using the track pad on the laptop computer. Plus he can change channels and adjust the volume on the remote.  

I am sure a lot of this has to do with having 2 older brothers.  Or maybe he's just advanced.  

He did ride Carson's two wheel bike last month 100 yards by himself without training wheels.  Did I remind to you all that he's THREE?!  Scary indeed, yet was I impressed.  I didn't think he'd actually be able to do it, but thought why not give it a try.  Sure enough, he completely understood the balancing thing.  

Luke, please slow down a little buddy.  I am trying to not feel too old yet and you're the baby of the family.  Your independence floors me.  In a good way (usually). 

Dear so and so.

Today I have decided to send some Dear so and so letters.  Shall we begin?

To my dear dog Sasha:

I love you dearly, but in the morning I love my sleep more.  So would you kindly refrain from licking and scratching yourself silly?  I think you're getting a little too much enjoyment out of it.  And when you scratch so hard it sounds like someone pounding on the outside door who wants in.  Not the best wake up call.

To the lady on my voicemail:

Next time you call and leave a message please remove the food from your mouth prior to dialing my number.  I hit replay about 4 times trying to figure out your name.  And for the sake of humanity, would you please slow it down?

To the 4 "boys" who live in this house:

I am a girl and I prefer to sit when I pee.  I also like to clean up in the shower not the toilet.  The lids are there for a reason - learn to use them!

To the old man in the left lane on the highway:

When you put your left turn signal on and merge right you not only look like a drunk moron perhaps you really are one.  

To my lame excuse for a dishwasher:

When I push the button labeled heated dry I expect nothing less - please stop disappointing me or I will have to recruit hired help - the boys have to earn their keep somehow.

Dear Santa:

When you come to our house on Christmas Eve try not to trip over the extension cord that is stretched from the star of the tree to the outlet.  This is no fault of my electrically advanced husband, but my inability to figure out a better way to get it to work.  And don't be too mad if there are only cookie crumbs left for you.  I have a dog who thinks she's a vacuum cleaner and a husband that likes to have a snack when the kids go to bed.  Our stockings will be to the far right, but feel free to dump the coal straight in the fireplace.  (But if you're a forgiving Santa please see the letter previous to yours for a great gift idea!)   

Yours truly,

Lynette3boys

They keep 'em coming

I believe this is the 14th installment of my kids and the funny and unpredictable things that come out of their mouths.  Here we go.

Luke and I were watching TV and a commercial came on for Lubriderm lotion which showed a lady with dry elbows.  In response Luke says to me, "I'm buying that for you mom."

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Carson asked me if I was going to get the Christmas "ornamations" out yet.

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I commented to Taylor that my birthday is less than a month away and soon I'd be 31.  Taylor replied, "Yeah mom, 40 is right around the corner." 

(He's so getting grounded for that.)

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We got out the Christmas decorations and out of the nativity set only Mary and a sheep were all we could find.  Carson was playing with them and said, "Mom, I know who this is.  It's Mary."  I replied, "Yes, you are right."  Then Carson said, "And this is a lamb."  The next thing I hear is him singing, "Mary had a Little Lamb."

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Carson put on a football jersey and asked me what number was on it.  I told him it was 80.  And in a serious voice he asked, "Is that how old Daddy is?"

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I was talking on the phone to one of the neighbors when Luke walked up to me and took a sniff.  He loudly announced, "Mom - you farted!"

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And there you have it!

The Christmas Card Photo Shoot.

This was just loads of fun (insert heavy dose of sarcasm).  Looking on the bright side, at least I didn't have an audience and we were in the confines of our house.  It was a disaster.

We start off with the usual, Luke not wanting to cooperate.

Then all "you-know-what" breaks loose, Luke gets ticked off and I catch the smack on camera.

Now everyone is grumpy and are ready to take off their stupid dress shirts I made them wear.

And this is where Luke stayed and pouted for the next 15 minutes.

Looks like it won't be a picture greeting card this year.  I'm off to Hallmark.

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Don't ever do this to your hair.

Who am I with this awful hairstyle?

I'll give you a hint.  It's a contestant from a show that's on tonight on NBC.  It rhymes with The Piggest Snoozer. 

So that was an easy and stupid clue.  But, which contestant am I?  

Vicky, of course from the reality show The Biggest Loser.  

On tonight's episode they are getting make-overs and if anyone could use one, it would be Vicky and her hair.  This is the only reason I am glad she's still on the show.  Someone needs to teach her a few tricks to modern hair styles (and how to be a decent human being).  I feel like I am watching Little House on the Prairie each time I see her with that strange knot in her hair.  

I mean, for real Vicky.  It's nearly 2009.  Time to let the twist go.

Kindergarten? Please.

I am amazed these days at the level of knowledge kids are learning in school.  Not so much at the preschool level, thankfully, but kindergarten to be exact.

As many of you with more than one child have noticed, each child learns at a different pace.  For some it takes a little longer to grasp a concept and they must put forth a lot more effort and practice.  This would be my Carson, my kindergarten student, my 5 soon to be 6 year old. 

The year started with a bit more of a struggle and it seemed like he was behind the learning curve.  I knew we had a lot more ground to cover than where the rest of the class seemed to be.  Getting into the school groove was also more difficult than I expected, especially going from 3 days a week in a preschool church setting to 5 days a week at a public school.

The expectations were definitely taken up a few levels from behavior to academic performance.  And I will admit, the first parent teacher conference did not go so well.  I came out feeling disappointed and defeated since I knew a lot of this was my responsibility as a mother.  But I didn't let that get me down.  I saw the challenge ahead and was ready to make some positive changes and help my boy succeed in school.  

It has only been 3 1/2 months since the start of the school year, but Carson is making such big strides.  He is passionate about learning and practicing what he has learned.  He is slowing down and putting effort into assignments.  

And he is retaining this knowledge and making me rethink what I learned in kindergarten.  All I remember doing is playing with Play-Dough and watching a boy eat it.  I also remember sitting in a circle and singing songs (and almost getting puked on by the kid sitting next to me).  

What I don't remember learning is what a spine of a book is and that there are call numbers on the side to help identify what shelf it belongs on.  This is just some of the information Carson brings back from school and tells me about.   

Carson came up to me just the other day holding a piece of paper and said that this way is vertical and if you move it the other way it's horigontal (horizontal, but he was close enough to understand the concept). 

He was making paper money and coloring it very nice and neat (which is a huge change).  On the back he asked me how to spell a certain word, but I had no idea what he was trying to say.  At first I thought he wanted me to spell mostaccioli, but that wasn't it.  Good thing we were at my parents house (who must have learned this stuff back in kindergarten) because my mom said he thought he wanted to spell Monticello.  "What the heck is that", I asked.  It's Thomas Jefferson's house, you know, the one on the back of a nickel.  I shouldn't be allowed to spend money if I don't know what's on it.

There's nothing like a 5 year old to make you feel unintelligent.

Coming down

Is it Monday?  

I'm telling you what - my days are completely messed up with the whole holiday this past  week. 

We went back to Indiana for 4 days to celebrate Thanksgiving with the family.  And it was wonderful.  I was able to see not only family, but great friends as well.  Being back in the town I grew up in and the only place I have ever called home (until our move to Ohio) was so refreshing and gave me comfort.  

It's no wonder why I was feeling dumpy and down all day yesterday.  I was coming off the high of being surrounded by people I know and love (besides my immediate tribe).  My parents and their dog even felt the blues and my mom put it best.  She said if there was ever a time where she needed a Paxil now would be it.  

Today is a better day.  We are back in the routine that we've become accustomed to.

The boys were excited to open the first day on their advent calendars.  I'll just have to start my own countdown calendar to mark our next visit home for the holidays.

The song "I'll Be Home for Christmas" has so much more meaning to me this year.  

Luckily it's not just in my dreams.