Substitute

It's so easy in life to substitute one thing for another whether it be good or bad. There's always a need/want that wants/needs to be filled.

I'm not trying to get "deep" here or anything, but I did want to make a confession. I've been doing a lot of substitutions.

And it's all Facebooks fault.

You see this little ol' blog of mine hasn't seen much action these past few months. You could say I fell off the hypothetical blog-wagon and that would be half true. Time and energy just haven't made blogging a priority in my life.

But I have Facebook and that has provided me with an outlet to briefly get those quirky thoughts that would have normally evolved into a blog post out of my head. And that's a good thing in one sense.

I like having the option of stating what's on my mind for the whole Facebook world of my friends to see, not that it's anything of importance, but usually a random thought here and there.

So, just to recap for any of you who read my blog and are not listed as a friend of mine on Facebook, here are my "what's on your mind" posts, or my "mini-blogs" for the month of August.

• The sandbox is SO overrated!
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• Taste of Cleveland wasn't all I thought it would be. Oh well. Up next, Popcorn Fest.
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• Has anyone used Skype before?
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• Went to check on Luke who was playing with chalk in the driveway, and I asked him what he was doing. He replied, "I'm chalking." I didn't know you could use that word as a verb, but I guess when you're 4 it's quite alright and pretty cute if you ask me.
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• Skipped step class tonight to have dinner with the family and in-laws at Cheesecake Factory - no regrets!
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• Wow my muscles could use a massage right about now.
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• Watching the movie Bridge To Terabithia with my boys. Looks like I don't have to wash my eye make up off tonight. Geesh!
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• A cupcake and coffee for breakfast. Not a bad way to start the day.
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• I almost had a panic attack. I thought I ran out of wine. But I'm good now.
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• At doctor's office waiting to get Carson's cast off. (August 26th)
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• Anyone want to take a guess as to how many infections were found on my oldest son's computer? Go on, give it a try.
• So the correct answer is 368! Ridiculous. Needless to say, the computer is dead and is not getting fixed.
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• So I asked my 6 y.o. if he was excited for his 1st day of school tomorrow and he replied, "I hope I don't have to sit next to any girls." Typical response from a 1st grade boy.
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• I am so hooked on hummus.
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• Today's equation: Humidity + a whack job haircut = mushroom head = eternal ponytails.
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• My 4 y.o. just pointed at a martini glass and asked why I don't use that one? I said, "because it's for martinis." And he replied, "Oh, it's for your teenies."
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• Went to the Dr. and found out I have some type of eye infection and have to wear my glasses for the next week. I hope they stay on my face when I'm jumping around at the gym.
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• Enjoyed a good 2 hours at the gym tonight and subbed a few classes. Good times. Wine and bed. Goodnight!
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• Heading up to Chicago for the Edwin concert tonight!
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• Will someone come over and clean my house for me please? I'm just not in the mood.
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• $75 and 2 cuts later, I'm still not happy with my hair. Ugh. I miss my Indiana hair stylist.
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• Just popped in the movie "The Goonies" - and in 80's style I am watching it via VHS tape. Am I authentic or what?!?!
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• Chop, chippity, chop, chop.....
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• To chop or not to chop? That is my question.
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• Was greeted by a snake and a toad while sitting outside in the front yard this evening. Sorry Becky for screaming in your ear when we were on the phone!
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• I should still be sleeping, but my mind is running. Looks like it's coffee time.
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• Lovin' the Cherry Kiss Martinis tonight - thanks Kristin - wish you were here!
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• Just watched "I am Legend." I think I may have some bad dreams tonight.
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• Oh sunshine, how I adore thee.
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• Woke up to a yard full of trash and toilet paper. Gotta love those rascals, I mean adolescents.
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• Wishes someone would just buy our house already.
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• Ready for a shower and a tall glass of water!

Some things should not be bought in bulk.

Such as syrup.

You may be asking yourself, "but why not?"

This is why not.

It's not very fun trying to clean up a full 1/2 gallon of sticky, gooey, ant-inviting syrup that spilled all over the kitchen floor and under the refrigerator.

So not cool!

Luke thought he would make himself a waffle and climbed up the cabinet to reach the syrup that was on the top shelf. It slipped right out of his hands and BAM - the plastic bottle burst open. Ugh!

Even after the tedious clean up process, the floor still has a tacky feel to it and our kitchen is permeated with the smell of maple.

The last time Luke tried to make himself a snack all by himself this is what happened.

Can you even guess what that is a picture of?

That would be a burnt corn dog with the plastic wrapper melted around it.

Not being able to read yet, he pushed whatever button looked right to him. 4 minutes later - ta da - burnt carcinogen on a stick.

Tomorrow is his first day of preschool. I hope he doesn't get put on snack duty.

Time to get up!

It's only day two of the new school year and I am struggling to adjust to waking up to an alarm clock. 6:15 rolls around way too fast!

I had this ancient alarm clock from the 80's that was on it's final days. Luckily last week I attempted to practice waking up early. I wasn't very successful, but I tried. Hubby asked me why I didn't get up when the alarm went off. I told him that I must have set it wrong because it didn't go off. But he insisted it did and I just didn't hear it.

The next day I made sure it was set properly and sure enough, it did go off, but the alarm noise that's supposed to be loud and piercing was a muted, silent beckoning. My alarm clock was being polite. I'm all about being courteous, especially in the early morning hours, but in order for a clock to do it's job I need loud and abrasive.

So I went out and bought a new alarm clock yesterday. And it does the job. But the snooze button is a bit too convenient. I could place the clock across the room so that it would make me get out of bed to shut if off, but then I wouldn't be able to see it without putting my glasses on and that's just plain irritating. I'm as blind as a bat. If it's not in front of my face, it doesn't exist. Sad, but true.

The alarm went off this morning with it's loud and obnoxious beeping and smack dab in the middle is the largest button on the device - snooze. Yep, so I hit that bad boy about 3 times and each time I gently fell back asleep. What a lovely feeling, that is until the irritating beeping wakes me back up. At least it's doing it's job. And maybe some day I won't need it any longer, but until that day the clock and I will have a love hate relationship.

Best Laugh I've had in a Long Time!

I am sure this has been going around for awhile now, but I honestly felt like I had an intense ab workout after watching this video. I even had to wipe the tears from my eyes - it was that good.

It's the news anchors that make it even funnier.

Nothing's going to hold him back.

It's been almost three weeks since Carson fell and broke his arm.

And one would think a cast from the knuckles up to one's armpit would slow them down quite a bit - not my child.

I am so impressed with this boy's positive attitude and the ways he works around the cast. Some days I forget he even has one on and I think he does too. He is still adamant about keeping it "blue" meaning he does not want anyone to sign it. And occasionally he'll talk about when the time comes to have it taken off. He does express a bit of concern and thinks they are going to use a chain saw to remove it taking his arm along with it. I've assured him that his arm will remain attached to his body.

Wednesday we have an appointment to have it checked and get another x-ray to see how well the bone is mending. From there it may be 3 more weeks of the cast, unfortunately not in time for the first day of school.

Maybe by then he'll be ready for some autographs and artwork.

Times sure have changed.

Luke, being 4 years old, still has issues with keeping dry. He gets so wrapped up in what he's doing that he'll forget to take potty breaks unless I remind him to.

After the gym this evening we decided to meet up with some friends for dinner. After we were done eating I noticed Luke's pants were damp. We came home and I cleaned him up for the night, but was quite frustrated.

I asked Luke, "What is it going to take to get you to remember to stop and use the potty before it's too late?"

He replied, "I don't know."

So I said, "What if I buy you something? How about that?" Thinking he'd really go for that idea and ask for candy or a small toy, etc.

You know what my 4 year old boy said he wanted?

An ipod!

There's a birthday boy in da house!

T - thoughtful, thinker, tranquil, talented

A - affectionate, advanced, adventurous, accomplished

Y - youthful, yield to authority

L - leader, loving, loyal

O - organized, observant, outstanding, original

R - resourceful, respectful, reliable

Today we celebrate the special person you are Taylor, and wish you a fun filled 12th birthday.

You gave us the privilege of becoming parents for the first time and we've enjoyed all the firsts of parenthood that we have experienced with you. You have been such a joy in our lives.

You also have such a wonderful spirit about you and never miss an opportunity to pull a quick one on your parents. Your humor and zest for life are a breath of fresh air and bring a smile to our face.

I see a bright and promising future for you my son. The sky is the limit. Live out your dreams and don't settle for anything less because you deserve the best that life has to offer.

We love you and are so proud of everything you do. We feel honored to call you our son.

Hugs and kisses on your special day today!

Love,

Mom and Dad

Boy + Tree = ER

Summer just wouldn't be complete without a trip to the emergency room.

That is exactly where Carson and I spent 4 hours last night after he fell when swinging from a tree limb in our front yard. I was in the driveway vacuuming the van and didn't see it happen. Fortunately, Taylor was outside and walked him over to me. His arm was red in the crook of his elbow so I brought him inside, had him lay down on the couch and applied ice.

In the pit of my stomach I had a feeling that this accident would require a trip to the ER. And this would be the first trip for Carson. The last (and first) time we made a visit to the ER for one of our boys was when Taylor was 2 years old and had croup. So we had a nice quiet span of close to 10 years without any incidents. That is a pretty good record for a family with 3 crazy busy boys.

I sent the other 2 boys to the neighbors house and called Jason at work to tell him what was going on. He left work in the middle of a huge downpour that was going on in Cleveland, but made it home safely.

Carson was very nervous and in pain - not a fun combination. While we were waiting, an older lady who was on a bed was wheeled past us. Carson looked at her and back at me and asked, "Is that lady half dead?"

We finally got in for x-rays 2 1/2 hours later at which this point the pain my poor boy had to endure was really taking a toll on him. The technician asked if anyone had given him any pain meds, but of course not - that would be too practical of a thing to do. After 5 grueling x-rays they put us in a room, gave him a temporary cast/splint, and FINALLY gave him some pain meds. It did end up being a fracture in the area of his elbow joint, which they said was an odd location for a break to happen. After that we were sent on our way home.

The medication seemed to kick in right away and Carson turned into a little chatterbox. He asked me if I was happy that he didn't pass out and he also told me he liked how nice I was being to him. As if I'm not that nice all the time - come on!

I treated him to Burger King since he was starving and had not eaten since lunch. Then we came home to settle him in for the night. I went back out to try and find a pharmacy that was still open at 10:30 pm. I had no such luck and came back home after a half hour of driving around.

Carson slept fairly well as we had him set up on a mattress in our room so that I could keep an eye and ear on him. Every hour or so he would call my name and would want me to adjust his pillows, but for the most part he did very well.

We went to get his 'permanent' cast in place this morning along with filling his prescription and that was pretty much non-eventful, thankfully.

Now we wait 6 weeks - and try to keep an active boy at bay. Any suggestions on how to do that? And the itching in the cast has already begun. It's going to be a long countdown. I may need my own Rx.

These boys are something else!

Here is another installment of my on going series of kid sayings that my 3 boys supply me with. The majority of today's excerpts come from Luke who recently turned 4 years old. It's a great dose of humor that makes me smile. I hope it does the same for you.

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I asked Luke what he wanted for lunch and he said, "The crab macaroni." Not sure what he meant I asked him to explain it. He said, "the sea shell kind." Oh- you mean the Kraft Shells and Cheese? Yep.

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Luke and I were petting Fritz, my parent's dog during one of his rare quiet and calm moments. Luke laid his head on the dog's chest and said, "His heart is wiggling, no, it's bumping."

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While walking to the gym in the parking lot Carson spotted a cloth on the ground. He pointed at it and said, "Look someones hank chief."

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Luke was eating a popsicle and I look over at him and see him giving it kisses. He noticed me watching him and said, "Mom, this is Princess Leia."

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Luke being under 4 feet tall was standing between my dad and I as we were having a conversation. Luke interrupts us and bluntly states, "Papa, you have boogers in your nose."

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I had a hard work out at the gym and at home I was sitting at the table with my eyes closed. I told Luke that all I wanted to do was go to bed. Luke replied, "Well, walk upstairs! Are you old?"

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I yelled to Luke in the other room and asked him if he had his flip flops on. He replied, "No, I just have my feet on."

Entertaining may not be my thing.

Saturday night we invited a couple over to dinner at our house. This was the first time we had Kristin and Aaron over and I wanted to make sure we made a good first impression. In the past my attempt at first impressions did not go so well. I didn’t want to jinx myself again so I vowed to keep it simple.

I supplied the pasta and fruit salad along with corn on the cob and brownies for dessert. The other couple provided the beer and burgers. Easy enough, right?

Well, let’s just say the burgers did not want to cooperate. Aaron even made the comment before they came over saying, “You’re not going to bring that box of ghetto burgers, are you?”

Hubby put the ghetto burgers on the grill and it started off ok. They were sizzling and smoking away like normal burgers do. I glanced over and made a comment about the flame broiled burgers and the increasing size of the flames all the while our guests are witnessing the entire scene play out. Then, in an instant, the innocent B.K. smoke turned into a rolling black cloud of pollution. We had a grease fire on our hands.

Hubby’s yelling at me to grab the hose while he’s doing his best to keep the flames at bay. I ran over to the hose and turned it on, not realizing that the sprinkler was still attached. There was no time to unhook it, so I rush over to the grill with sprinkler in hand while being blinded by the thick dark smoke coming from the grill. During this process I realized I had accidentally sprayed Kristin’s jeans.

Luckily the water did the trick and the flames were diminished. But the burgers, let’s just say they could no longer be considered food - more like charcoal bricks. Kristin and I decided to go to the store and get some new burgers - the leanest one’s possible.

Thankfully there were no issues with the second batch of burgers and we finally got around to eating after 8 pm. It was about time for dessert so I put some chocolate frosting on the brownies and set one out for each of us. The kids were playing in the basement and I figured they would come up to get one when they were ready.

In the meantime, we were all sitting around the kitchen table and Luke walks up to me with a disgusted look on his face holding his hand out with frosting on it. I noticed he had not yet had his brownie. I grab his wrist and ask him what he did. He replies, “poop.” I freak out and say, “No way! Where did it come from?” And his simple response was, “my butt.”

I rush him upstairs to the bathroom and clean him up. Apparently what he assumed was a fart was a little more than what he expected. He 'sharted' in his underwear.

Once he was cleaned up, I came back down and see that Kristin is busting out laughing. “Oh no, now what?” I said. She replied, “I think I know where Luke was,” and walked me over to the main floor bathroom. I walked in and there was brown smears all over the bathroom. On the sink, on the toilet, on the wall, on the floor, on the light switch.

Are.You.Freaking.Kidding.Me?!?!

I yelled for Carson and Luke to get their rear-ends to me immediately and asked them who made this mess. Luke insisted it was not him and Carson had the guilty look on his face and confessed it was him. I was not happy and said, “Don’t you know how to wipe your butt by now?” And Carson replied, “It’s a brownie.”

Thank goodness! I had my share of crap for the night.

Needless to say the night was full of memorable first impressions, not quite how I expected it to go, but definitely eventful. Sure we know how to entertain, just not in your traditional way.