Entertaining may not be my thing.

Saturday night we invited a couple over to dinner at our house. This was the first time we had Kristin and Aaron over and I wanted to make sure we made a good first impression. In the past my attempt at first impressions did not go so well. I didn’t want to jinx myself again so I vowed to keep it simple.

I supplied the pasta and fruit salad along with corn on the cob and brownies for dessert. The other couple provided the beer and burgers. Easy enough, right?

Well, let’s just say the burgers did not want to cooperate. Aaron even made the comment before they came over saying, “You’re not going to bring that box of ghetto burgers, are you?”

Hubby put the ghetto burgers on the grill and it started off ok. They were sizzling and smoking away like normal burgers do. I glanced over and made a comment about the flame broiled burgers and the increasing size of the flames all the while our guests are witnessing the entire scene play out. Then, in an instant, the innocent B.K. smoke turned into a rolling black cloud of pollution. We had a grease fire on our hands.

Hubby’s yelling at me to grab the hose while he’s doing his best to keep the flames at bay. I ran over to the hose and turned it on, not realizing that the sprinkler was still attached. There was no time to unhook it, so I rush over to the grill with sprinkler in hand while being blinded by the thick dark smoke coming from the grill. During this process I realized I had accidentally sprayed Kristin’s jeans.

Luckily the water did the trick and the flames were diminished. But the burgers, let’s just say they could no longer be considered food - more like charcoal bricks. Kristin and I decided to go to the store and get some new burgers - the leanest one’s possible.

Thankfully there were no issues with the second batch of burgers and we finally got around to eating after 8 pm. It was about time for dessert so I put some chocolate frosting on the brownies and set one out for each of us. The kids were playing in the basement and I figured they would come up to get one when they were ready.

In the meantime, we were all sitting around the kitchen table and Luke walks up to me with a disgusted look on his face holding his hand out with frosting on it. I noticed he had not yet had his brownie. I grab his wrist and ask him what he did. He replies, “poop.” I freak out and say, “No way! Where did it come from?” And his simple response was, “my butt.”

I rush him upstairs to the bathroom and clean him up. Apparently what he assumed was a fart was a little more than what he expected. He 'sharted' in his underwear.

Once he was cleaned up, I came back down and see that Kristin is busting out laughing. “Oh no, now what?” I said. She replied, “I think I know where Luke was,” and walked me over to the main floor bathroom. I walked in and there was brown smears all over the bathroom. On the sink, on the toilet, on the wall, on the floor, on the light switch.

Are.You.Freaking.Kidding.Me?!?!

I yelled for Carson and Luke to get their rear-ends to me immediately and asked them who made this mess. Luke insisted it was not him and Carson had the guilty look on his face and confessed it was him. I was not happy and said, “Don’t you know how to wipe your butt by now?” And Carson replied, “It’s a brownie.”

Thank goodness! I had my share of crap for the night.

Needless to say the night was full of memorable first impressions, not quite how I expected it to go, but definitely eventful. Sure we know how to entertain, just not in your traditional way.